Sorry that I have not wrote any blogs in so long.  I don’t do well with competition because I like for us all to win.  I have always been taught everyone is a winner because everyone is good or better at something than the other.  So when this competition started getting into tooth & nail I had to stop and take a step back to understand why I entered this is in the first place.  Was it to be a winner or to lose weight and keep it off?!  This doesn’t mean that I am not grateful for all The Lake Magazine has done for me.  Just the opposite I am overwhelmed by all the lessons I am learning.  It is just that the mental struggle for me I think is sometimes worse than the physical.  It is so hard to get up and go day in and day out and do something I don’t want to do.  There are days I sit for 45 min in the parking lot just trying to muster up the energy and strength to go in and work out.  Then when I go to the weigh ins I know I’m not going to be the best there.  I have so many things I can blame it on but what good would that do.  I had a teacher once tell me that blaming it on anything was a cop-out and that as long as you try to do something you did it!  So why do I beat myself up so much when I go in to the weigh-ins is beyond me.  I think well, I am following what my trainer is telling me to do and eating right which includes all food groups! I’m not cutting corners and I’m not cheating.  I’m not going and getting shots or taking any thing that I’m not suppose to be that doesn‘t come naturally in loosing weight.  I am doing this all on my own, well beside the 2 hrs a wk I get with my trainer and the inspiration God has given to me.  I am doing this by changing habits, eating the way God made food to be ate and using the calories I’m consuming to operate my body and not push past tired.   We are all delt a deck cards it is all in how we shuffle them to what we get and how we use it.  The Lord has so richly blessed me with this gift that so many others would love to have and have not gotten it.  So I am moving forward and leaving the old me behind.

Over all I feel like my progress is great.  When I started I wore a size 18 and I am now between a 12 and 14.  My stomach has gotten better and I can’t wait to see how I feel when I get to my goal weight of 155-160 lbs.  I think the last time I weighed that I was in the 7th or 8th grade!  I also think there is no way but the closer I get to the goal the more anxious I get to get there.  Right now I weigh 189lbs. I still am having stomach attacks just not as many of them.  The Dr.’s have always told me my problems have been more from me being overweight than from DNA but from what I can tell only some of that is true.  For the most part there is still a lot of problems.  I think I am at a GREAT place that knows how to work with people who  need to lose weight and health conditions or other problems that prevent them from being able to loose it.  The Wellness Center has really offered a lot of support in getting to my goal but it has not just been from my trainer they work as a big TEAM around there.  Some of what they have taught me is how to keep my heart rate during exercise the same as when I am sitting here typing this so that I burn consistently throughout the day.

As much as I would love to win this competition I’m fine with what I am going to take away with me no matter what.  If I don’t, I would love for Lake Magazine to check back with me (and for that matter all of us) in a year after the competition just to show how right/wrong The Wellness Center is (or any gym or any trainer for that matter).  That Yes, it is all about getting to the finish line in June-July but for me it is SO much more.  It is about changing my life, staying healthy, becoming a more fit person and showing others that they can do it too.  That you don’t have to have a trainer and gym to make it.  You just have to know to take in what you need to operate and  more calories is fine as long as it is not everyday!  To know that when your tired, your tired go to bed, take a nap, even a cat nap does wonders but don‘t get a snack and don‘t sleep all day because those things will only make you feel worse.  If your stressed, your stressed get rid of the stress don’t eat it, or if you are unhappy with yourself fix what you find wrong.  Find something that makes you happy and make yourself happy NO FOOD can do that for you!  That just getting up and turning the TV off or walking to go get your kids from school instead of driving is really what makes the difference,  That if you have to go to _________ practice don’t just sit there DO SOMETHING!  Get up and wash the dishes instead of letting the machine do it.  I want to be an example for others to want to make a change too and if I don’t win because I didn’t loose the most in 6 months who cares.  I just want to get to the end and push on to the next goal.  I want an OVERALL change not just a short 6 month change that when the trainer and gym are gone the change will be too.  I look at it this way the hare still lost the race!

Valerie Pasternak ~Life isn’t about finding yourself but CREATING yourself!~

February 1, 2010
Wow last week was so rough for some reason.  It was like I beat myself up more than anything and I don’t know why.  Maybe it was all that asking of myself “are you going to quit this like so many other things you’ve started and not finished?”  I feel like I am really challenging myself so much.  I mean I knew this was going to be rough to do but I REALLY want to change.  I don’t want to get to the end of this competition and gain it all back.  I really want to show myself and my family that I’m not a failure.  That I can do anything I set my mind to.  I, in the past, have started and stopped so many things that inside my head I have convinced myself that that is what I am, nothing but a failure.  I look back at some of the past years and think well I can’t believe I wasted all that time in my life, If I wasn’t going to stick to it then why did I even try in the first place.  So I guess that is where I have beat myself up this week.  This past week I can proudly say that I’m doing it,  I do not know exactly how everyone else is doing but so far I’m pretty pleased with what I have accomplished, lost and learned.  I am really gaining control of what I am eating.  I have found some really good things to help me along.  But most importantly I have started creating a new me.  I have by far not got to the finish line and everyday I have to wake up and remind myself that I am not a failure and that it’s all a mind game that I can beat, and WILL beat!  I also have to remember daily that I can choose my path but only God can determine my steps….Proverbs 16:9

Valerie Pasternak ~Life isn’t about finding yourself but CREATING yourself!~