Not Me Monday

I did not steal my hubby’s $6 gas station sunglasses, and I do not prefer to wear them instead of my Oakley sunglasses.

I did not spend three hours crafting when I should have been cleaning.

I did not leave dinner dishes sitting in the sink for two days.

My son did not hit me with a wooden spoon. I did not raise my voice at him.

My 4 year old did not ask my why Beauty and the Beast live together even though they aren’t married.

I did not feed my children chicken nuggets two nights in a row because I didn’t want to wash the dishes that were mentioned above. But if I had fed them chicken nuggets, I would have also feed them apples and bananas to make myself feel better.

I am not writing this blog while I have a 4 page paper due tonight at midnight.

I do not procrastinate.

So I totally missed ‘Not Me Monday’…

I guess I will save it for next week. Instead, I will share with you a recent experience… two kids, a sick dog, and a visit to the vet.

So, have I mentioned that we have two dogs? Well, we have a 16lb. Bishon, named “Papi”, although I like to refer to him as “Papi the Pest”. We got “Papi”  from a rescue about a year and a half ago. He is a neurotic, happy little guy. He obsesses about lizards and can’t stand for you to leave the room. He will run from bedroom to bedroom barking making sure everyone is home.  He drives me bonkers! But like the kids, I love him anyway. We also have a 13lb Mini Poodle, named “Jazzy-Bell”, she as black as night and looks like a stuffed animal. She is a sweet natured, protective little pup who thinks Troy is her puppy. Sophia always says, “Troy is not a good pack leader, he is part of the pack.” Can you tell we watch the Dog Whisperer? And yes, I must agree Troy does act more like he is part of the pack. 

One day last week “Papi” required some urgent medical attention. I called Lake Square Animal Hospital in Leesburg, which is where I have been buying his flea prevention for sometime. Until now, we have never actually needed to see the vet. They got him in the same day and were so nice on the phone. I really did not want to have to haul two kids to the vet,  but it looked like I was not going to have a choice. I could just picture it…

Me, the kids, the dog… “Papi” running through their peaceful and serene lobby, magazines flying everywhere. The kids screaming and jumping off of the seats. As people sat looking in horror at the circus we created.  An elderly woman being knocked onto her tushy while wrapped in my dog’s leash… the vision was so clearl in my mind.

The sweet eleven year old from next door offered to ride along and go as a sort of ‘Mommy Helper’ and help she did. She was so sweet to come along. I bribed my kids to behave, yes I’m not above bribery. So if you are ever around me and my kids are behaving…  I’ve usually bribed them with a Junior Frosty. 

The kids were more than excited to see the “Dog Doctor”, Dr. Gunderson. The tech came in the room and talked to us, she was affectionate and you could tell she loved dogs… I mean, why would you work in a vet clinic if you didn’t like dogs? She was so sweet with my two-legged animals as well. Dr. Gunderson came in and spoke with us about “Papi” and his “issues”, he spent a while with me discussing “Papi” and his insane behaviors. He gave me tons of tips and advice, which I was not expecting but greatly appreciated! The kids got a bit antsy and my “Mommy Helper” took them to wait in the lobby. I was a bit nervous to let them out of my sight… I had packed snacks and sippy cups for them and prayed a quick “God, please let them behave!”

When “Papi” and I left the exam room, I saw the kids, they had Wonder Pets stickers all over and had coloring books and crayons… now that I did not pack! The wonderful staff became my fairy godmothers as they totally entertained the kids in the corner of the lobby with stickers, crayons, and color sheets! Sophia was thrilled that they let her use a “clipboard for my colorings“. The staff really went above and beyond.

I was really dreading this trip taking the kids and the dog to the vet but Dr. Gunderson and his staff made it a great experience and yes, “Papi” is doing much better.

He is still neurotic, but he drives me a bit less bonkers. And thankfully is one healthy pooch!

So, not trying to advertise but Dr. Gunderson and his staff at Lake Square Animal Hospital is my favorite!!! So, to all you mothers out there who are looking for a family friendly vet… try them out! And yes, vet clinic should be family friendly… think they would let me drop the kids off while I go to the grocery store. 

Not Me Monday

I did not neglect my ‘Not Me Monday’ posts until 10pm on Monday night.

This is not what my son does while I blog…

I did not let Troy take a nap wearing his dinosaur helmet just to avoid an argument with a two year old.

I do not drink to much coffee. 

I did not hide in the kitchen and gobble the last fudge-pop.

 I did not encourage my children to hang upside down for entertainment.

I did not bribe my son to behave in exchange for goldfish.

I do not require my husband to work on his only day off.

Not Me Monday

I do not regret moving my children from the 5 point harness seats to boosters… nope no regrets.

My son did not rub my legs and ask, “You spike dinosaur momma?”

I would never invite the darling eleven-year-old neighbor over to play for the selfish intention of having 30 minutes to sit in peace.

I did not doubt my parenting abilities when Troy drove me to the brink of insanity last week, when he “washed” the bathroom floor with baby powder, again.

My daughter did not call a man at the pool a “ferocious beast”, even though his chest was far worse than my “spike dinosaur legs”

I would never lie and tell my children that Wendy gave me her chicken recipe just to get them to eat my Shake and Bake chicken for dinner.

I did not forget that Troy was in time out this morning. And he did not have to remind me…

I do not fear for my fish and his life since Troy told me that he was going to ‘bite that fish’; I did not move the fish to the top shelf because of this fear.

Good Monday Everyone!

Not Me Mondays

Yes, I know it is Tuesday but with all honesty I meant to post this last Monday, so looks like today, Tuesday is going to have work, for this week anyway.  The goal is for “Not Me Mondays” to become a bit of a tradition for “In the Hood” and I expect all of you readers to share as well, but we will do this on Mondays from here on out.

No Judgments Please.

Not Me Monday…

I did not walk over the blue toothpaste in my carpet for nearly four hours before cleaning it up.

I did not eat a Breyers Ice Cream Bar at 1:30am last Thursday night.

I did not let my children watch cartoons for two hours so I could have some peace and quiet on Sunday afternoon.

I would never tell Sophia if she would to continue to be naughty I would put her to bed without any dinner, (even though I didn’t mean it.)

I would never make empty threats.

I did not put the kids to bed late just so I could finish an Oprah rerun.

I did not put Sophia and Troy to bed early so I could watch a special about pregnancies on Discovery Channel. But if I had, I would say it was amazing! 

I would never hide chocolate from my children.

I would never post a “ Not Me Monday” on Tuesday.

By the way, I want everyone to know… as I fight the never ending bedtime battles with my children, I have currently resorted to blogging at bedtime, while I lay on the floor between their bedroom doors, in an effort to keep them in their beds and out of their toy boxes. I have to say it is working out quite well.  My plan is to move further and further from their doors until I can sit at the dining room table.  Other than the occasional peaks into the hallway while they look to see if I am still here, all is quiet in their bedrooms.

a list & chart kind of mom

Are you a chart mom?  A list mom?

I put everything on a chart or a list. I live by my agenda. Looking at my agenda is the first thing I look at every morning and the last thing I look at every night. I would be lost without my lists, graphs, charts, and agenda. 

I have a chart by the front door with the kids activities for the week.

I have a chart in my room of household chores… now, just because this chart exists does not guarantee that anything will get done, but it is there as a reference and to make me feel a bit more organized with the endless housework.

The most amazing chart in my home though… is the toothbrush chart.

No, it’s not for me… I can surly remember to brush my teeth, now using toothpaste is a whole other story. You know about that though. If you don’t know, read this prior blog… http://thelakemagazine.net/archives/2609

Now, every morning my darling devils protest the morning routine of brushing their teeth. Evenings is not so bad but for some reason every morning they stand in the bathrooms with their lips sealed shut while I practically pry their mouths open to insert a toothbrush.

I don’t know about you, but I insist that they brush there teeth twice a day. Teeth are important! For goodness sakes, we are going to take care of them in our house!

I have a friend who tells me about her three year old daughter who loves to brush her teeth and floss.. I couldn’t imagine. She says her daughter will stay in the bathroom brushing her teeth and flossing all morning. See, now that should have been my child.

Needless to say the toothbrush chart has been a blessing in our home and it is something I wanted to share with you all.

Drum roll please…

http://www.freeprintablebehaviorcharts.com/oral%20hygiene%20charts%20pdf/Brush%20Teeth%20Chart.pdf

This is the chart we use. I print a new one every 4 weeks, let them color it, then as the days go by we add some awesome little glittery star stickers to our chart. Yes, my children are still young enough that glittery star stickers will work… Who ever has all their stickers on the chart for each week gets to go pick out a new toothbrush.

This last week the kids finished their first month of continual teeth-brushing… Troy went and picked out a Spiderman toothbrush and Lightening McQueen toothpaste, while Sophia picked out a Snoopy toothbrush and Sponge Bob (Who I do NOT like! I think that is why she picked it!) toothpaste. Sophia did inform me that next time she would like silly bands instead of a new toothbrush though.

For the rest of you mothers out there who fight the morning battle of brushing teeth… may this chart prove to be as helpful for you as it was for me. Now if they would just not be so messy, but that may be asking too much.

Going to the beach with children

We are in Ft. Lauderdale until tomorrow morning. I have had a bit of ‘bloggers-block’ lately. We have been so busy this summer. Going on trips, visiting with family, work, school, and just plain life. I was sitting in the sand with my husband watching our children run in and out of the water squealing with laughter. It was a surreal moment in the sun with the beautiful ocean and the white sand. Then in an instant the laughter turned into panic as Troy had thrown sand in Sophia’s eyes. She ran to us screaming. I took my water bottle and cleaned her eyes off. Troy ran over to check on his sister knocking me onto my towel getting sand and water everywhere. I was covered with sticky sand and Sophia was screaming because now she had more sand in her face. Troy began to cry at the sight of us toppled over. Tony ran in and took Troy back to the water, I cleaned Sophia’s face. The kids began to ‘play nice’ again and Tony and I resumed our rightful spots in the sand as we laughed together about that peace and tranquil moment we shared.

Isn’t that just how it is with kids? Tony and I enjoy the beach and we have gone many times together before having kids. Back then; it was bikinis and board shorts. A far cry from the load that we track onto the beach with these days; sunscreen, beach chairs, an umbrella, sand toys, towels, sippy cups, hats, sunglasses, a gallon of drinking water, snacks, and the ever important camera. By the time you get everything set up on the beach you don’t want to leave… to pack it all up. Ugh!

As we built sandcastles and counted seashells, I noticed a couple lying on beach chairs under an umbrella about 50 yards away from us. They were tanning and holding hands chatting with their eyes closed. I thought to myself, it is the little things you take for granted, like keeping your eyes closed. There will be no eyes closed with these two running around on the beach. Nope, no eyes closed here, not with Troy and his fearless, endless energy and Sophia the social butterfly who struts along the shoreline talking to everyone.

Don’t get me wrong; we still enjoy going to the beach and we love the joy of watching our children play in the water. However, there is no denying that the beach is a far different place with and without children.

I won’t even begin to discuss the differences in a hotel stay with and without children…

sleep deprivation… yet again.

Night, after night, after night of being awakened…

by children,
by the dog,
by a snoring husband,
by the neighbor’s dog.

Sometimes I wonder if I will ever sleep through the night again.

It wasn’t always this way. I used to be able to sleep through all sorts of sounds and events.

Thunderstorms and hurricanes used to be a great time to sleep. Now, even when the kids aren’t screaming, I lay awake, listening to the thunder and praying that it doesn’t wake them. Hoping that the electricity won’t go off and they won’t wake up in a panic because their night lights don’t work.

You know, sleep deprivation is a source of torture during war times. Poor mothers, we are like prisoners of war, exhausted and forced to keep going for the good of our troops.

I have done all sorts of crazy things in the past four years while I suffer from sleep deprivation…

Let’s not forget the toothpaste incident from an earlier post. 

I have put the telephone in the freezer.

I put the television remote in the linen closet.

I have put a carton of milk in the microwave.

I have seen my son put a waffle in the DVD player, and not even get off the couch to stop him.

I have told the mechanic at the car dealership, “I love you honey, see you soon.”

I have even taken out our mailbox!  I just continued to drive while the mailbox scratched the side of my van, all the while my daughter sat in her car seat and squealed, “mommy, you are hitting the mailbox!” My brain just couldn’t tell my foot to stop pushing the gas petal. Scary, I know!

I remember when Troy was just a peanut, a few weeks old maybe. I heard him crying in the night. I reached into his bassinet and began to rock him back and forth as I sat in my bed. I knew it was too soon for him to eat again, as I must have just put him back down and dozed off. As his crying became louder, I woke up more; I realized, I was rocking my pillow and there lay my infant son in his cradle screaming to the high heavens,  and next to me, lay my sleeping husband.

Now, how is it that men can sleep through these things?

That, my friends, could be a blog of it’s own.

2 kids, 1 mom, and a gas station bathroom

 The title alone, I am sure has put fear in the minds of mothers who are reading this.

Let me tell you my friend, fear isn’t the word.

The two little darlings and I, ventured out to the local mall to pick up ballet and tap shoes for Sophia. My daughter, who I am sure is going to be a politician, must have talked to everyone in the whole entire mall at least one time. There were moments when we would walk past people and she would say “Didn’t I just see you in that other store?”

I don’t know how many people she asked, “Do you know my name?”

After our exciting outing we started the journey home. This would not have taken very long had it not been for the terrible road construction that added an extra 1/2 an hour onto our drive time. There we sat, stuck in traffic and my gas light comes on… if my husband is reading this he is rolling his eyes just about now.  Yes, I am aware that I shouldn’t have let it get that low, but these things happen.  

So, we sit, I begin to pray.. pray that the car doesn’t run out of gas. Then my daughter… “this chocolate milk is hurting my tummy, I think I have to poop”…. great!

 As I quickly navigate the road construction, I find somewhere for her to use the restroom. A gas station would not have been my preference but it was the only thing in sight and when you gotta go you gotta go.

I pull into the gas station and she said that she doesn’t think she has to go. OK, so I’ll just pump the gas and get home. I’m sure this relief won’t last long. Just as I climb back into the car, “I’m gonna poop, I can’t wait till we get home!”

Reluctantly, unload the kids and into, gulp, the bathroom.

“Hold hands in the parking lot.”

 Yes, into the gas station bathroom; better than pooping her pants… I guess.

We proceeded to the bathroom where I informed my children “don’t touch anything!”

 I really should NOT have spoken those words to my 2 year old son who seeks every opportunity to defy everything I say. 

I thought, if I let him hold the keys it may keep his hands occupied and won’t touch anything else.

 WRONG!

As soon as I was lifting my little girl onto the potty, that I had appropriatly covered with toilet paper, he tossed the keys into the trash can and smeared his clean, innocent little hands down the side of the trash can.

My daughter screamed, “He’s Hands Have Germs!”

 I grabbed him and held his hands in the air.  I told my daughter to hurry and finish so we could get out of there, you really can’t rush these things… but I just wanted to get out of there.

I let go of him for a second to assist my daughter as he then proceeded to look at me smiling, that evil little ‘I’m not listening to you’ smile, and rubbed his hands all over the wall.

Worst of all… while I was occupied helping my baby girl get off the potty…

you ready moms…

He sat on the bathroom floor and rubbed his hands on the ground! I swear to you I could see him making ‘snow angels’ in the germs!

Well, all I have to say is THANK GOD for antibacterial hand soap.

My daughter was mortified! She was screaming about the germs on her bubba’s hands.

As I lifted him up to wash his hands the faucet sprayed all three of us. The kids were screaming we were soaked!

We quickly left the bathroom and got in the car and went home to disinfect put on some dry clothes.

Since that day, I have been carrying a potty chair in the back of my van… think what you may, but I would much rather do that than have my sweet baby hands ever touch a filthy gas station bathroom again!

Moral of the story: At all costs, avoid gas station bathrooms with children!!!

randomness…

Yesterday, I watched my husband. He sat in this recliner in the corner of our room reading a book.  I looked on the floor and there was a race car, part of a train track, a sippy cup pushed under the dresser, and a white stuffed dog with a pink belt around its neck. I giggled to myself and went over to hug him. He sat there, so relaxed, as if he was at a resort and there was nothing to do. That is one thing I love about him, but at the same time something that can drive me absolutely crazy… he has no problem relaxing. While I run around fretting about laundry, dishes, and dinner. He can sit contently and read a book amidst the chaos. Although I have found this behavior to be aggravating. On this day, it reminded me to chill out, the dishes aren’t going anywhere. 

I curled into his lap as the kids played in the other room. I told him to listen; we didn’t hear anything. And for those few seconds we laughed together remembering how quiet our home used to be, prior to Sophia and Troy. Then we expressed concern in the silence, because that had to mean the two of them were up to no good.

The silence was broken by a scream from the other room, “TROYYYY-“ 

Followed by, “Sissy-, No!”

In the next moment, they came running into our room arguing about… I don’t even know what!?

Tony looked at me and said, “Someday we will wish they were home with us again.” We laughed as we agreed that this moment will pass quickly and we should enjoy every second with our terrible twosome.  

I have been away from the blog world for a little while. I was taking a rather difficult course in college and every free moment I had was devoted to that horrendous class. The class was an “in depth study into child development”. As a parent, I think this class pin pointed everything I did that was wrong! It was quite a humbling experience. As I finished the course, we were to compose a research paper based on the material we had studied. How can I put everything into a 10 page research paper? I don’t think anyone really understands child development anyway!? There are lots of theories but ultimately all children are different and there is no single way to raise them. So- I am glad to announce the class is complete and I’m looking forward to having time to blog again.

On a totally different note: I read some really great books in the past few weeks. They are children’s books, but really books for us mothers. I’d love to share them with you.

Warning: they are real tear jerkers.

“Someday”by Allison Mcghee and Peter H. Reynolds (This is a beautiful book for mothers of daughters)

“Let me hold you longer”by Karen Kingsbury (This is a great book reminding us to remember the precious moments with our children)

I read, “Someday” to Sophia and cried my head off!! 

Then reading “Let me hold you longer” to Troy, he kept saying, “momma you sad?”

As I sobbed, “no they are happy tears…”