A few movies I forgot

posted by Michael on 12th, 2010

Tis I, who does the poll questions each month on www.thelakemagazine.net and on this month’s poll I asked which summer blockbuster you plan on seeing. (Note: if you view the questions – yes, I planned on having all of the answers supplied with a Shrek retort.)

Of course many will go see Shrek, but aren’t we tired of this series?

Wellllllll, lemme tell you another movie series that seems to crank off production EVERY year is the Twilight series. This year we get Eclipse, next year we get Breaking Dawn, the year after that … Stephenie Meyer hasn’t written a fifth one yet. If there’s one thing worse than Shrek – it’s cutesy, crappy horror movies aimed at teens and tweens. Personally, I like this one as the best vampire movie or this one. Ironically, they both came out about the same time.

Adam Sandler is trying again with Grown Ups, which looks on par with his most recent movies. What has happened to Adam Sandler? At least this has Kevin James in it sooooo it may have some potential.

Predators is the continuining saga of the alien who landed here and blah blah blah. Actually this may turn out Ok since Robert Rodriguez is directing. Rodriguez is the one who directed this movie. But let’s face it, will it be ANY better than when the Governator squared off with the Predator? One of the best lines in the original was when one of the guys said to Jesse Ventura “Hey, you’re bleeding.” Jesse’s response: “I don’t have time to bleed.”

Here’s a cool idea for movies this year. Reemember Alien vs. Predator? How about Predator vs. Shrek?

Do we need another Cats and Dogs movie? Nine years after the first one? Although, as like the first one, I hope the Dogs win. Bette Midler as an evil cat may be halfways decent.

Samuel L., The Rock, Mark Wahlberg, Michael Keaton, Eva Mendes – Hey, here’s a comedy that’s looking promising – The Other Guys. A funny cop movie – yeah they’ve been done – but Samuel L and The Rock? Michael Keaton? Great. I have found a movie to spend my $8 on. OH WAIT! the flick is absolutely dragged into the gutter and will be completely insipid. Will Ferrell is one of the stars. (putting the $8 BACK in the wallet.)

Ok, maybe, maybe I can take the $8 out of the wallet for The Expendables. If you’re in your 40s you know the reason why. It spawns back to the shoot-until-the-last-one-stands films of the 80s and 90s. But it has the classic action trio. Slyvester Stallone (Yes, he’s still alive.), Arnold (Yes, he and Sly are in a movie TOGETHER) and Bruce Willis (If only he plays the part of John McClane this will be a classic.) Throw in flavor-of-the-month Mickey Rourke, Jet Li, Dolph Lundgren and Stone Cold Steve Austin and it has some bite. (Wait, what happened to Steven Seagal, Jean-Claude and Wesley Snipes? Why aren’t they in it? Where’s Nicholas Cage and Travolta? No Ving Rhames?)

Actually this summer, I’m thinking I’ll stay close to home and watch another tyrant: