So this is what it is like to be a part of something
I never trusted fraternities for the same reason W.C. Fields didn’t go for clubs…any organization that would have me as a member is not anything I would care to get involved with.
The idea of a “we” is okay…for the Army or a football team. But it’s a little greasy to fully embrace when it comes to life in general. I went to a party at Sigma something or other back in the day and it did seem to have benefits, but it also seemed to be a vessel with more barnacles than sailors, if you know what I mean. If you don’t, you probably were one of those Sigma something or others.
Anyhow, their big selling point was contacts and networking throughout life. That is essentially what we know as “the good old boy network” except with latte and alligator shoes. It appeared to me then, as it appears to me now, pretty much nonsense.
I don’t think I would want to work for an organization that hired or promoted people based on which house they used to get drunk in 20 years ago. It might happen. It might even explain governments and Enron, but I want no part of it.
So, why did I join this current network?
I am now a member of something because Ed bullied me into it. We were sitting in my rented condo during a cocktail party at the Ritz-Carlton in Beaver Creek. It was the Orlando Ski Club, but I wouldn’t call it organized enough to be an organization.
Herb, for instance, was talking about how much money he was making and discussing the cost of the tires on his Porsche. (That could have been a fast-forward scene from the Sigma so and so house, by the way.) To escape this, I had maneuvered Ed between us to deflect conversation and he starts carrying on about why I never accept his invitations to join this network thing.
Short version is that I logged on to a computer and accepted it. I am now “IN.”
Trouble is that I am not at all sure what it is I am into or what its purpose is supposed to be. If it has changed my life in any noticeable way, I haven’t noticed it. All it seems to do is garner more invitations to join the networks of other people.
So, I have to wonder if I am doing my part.
To that regard, here is an open letter to all the people with whom I network.
Dear Symbiotic Connections:
How am I doing?
Has your life, fortune, sacred honor or esteem in the community been in any way altered by my presence in your network? Has it advanced you? Impeded you? Have I somehow thrown myself over the barbed wire of the business world so you can charge ahead?
If so, you are welcome.
Have I, on the other hand, somehow failed you all in some manner in which I am not aware, not actually being aware of what it is that I ought to be doing? Am I as useless to you as that previous sentence is to communication in general?
Is my network ashamed of me? Am I letting down the side? Am I sort of like the doofis with a Bluetooththing in the ear — the guy you wish hadn’t showed up for lunch?
If so, I apologize.
I just want every one of you to know that I have your back and will do whatever is necessary to ensure that you get whatever it was you expected to get out of me … as long as it doesn’t actually ever entail me doing anything or participating in anything or exerting the least effort on your part.
It is an easy promise to keep because I know you would do it for me.
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