February 1, 2010
Wow last week was so rough for some reason.  It was like I beat myself up more than anything and I don’t know why.  Maybe it was all that asking of myself “are you going to quit this like so many other things you’ve started and not finished?”  I feel like I am really challenging myself so much.  I mean I knew this was going to be rough to do but I REALLY want to change.  I don’t want to get to the end of this competition and gain it all back.  I really want to show myself and my family that I’m not a failure.  That I can do anything I set my mind to.  I, in the past, have started and stopped so many things that inside my head I have convinced myself that that is what I am, nothing but a failure.  I look back at some of the past years and think well I can’t believe I wasted all that time in my life, If I wasn’t going to stick to it then why did I even try in the first place.  So I guess that is where I have beat myself up this week.  This past week I can proudly say that I’m doing it,  I do not know exactly how everyone else is doing but so far I’m pretty pleased with what I have accomplished, lost and learned.  I am really gaining control of what I am eating.  I have found some really good things to help me along.  But most importantly I have started creating a new me.  I have by far not got to the finish line and everyday I have to wake up and remind myself that I am not a failure and that it’s all a mind game that I can beat, and WILL beat!  I also have to remember daily that I can choose my path but only God can determine my steps….Proverbs 16:9

Valerie Pasternak ~Life isn’t about finding yourself but CREATING yourself!~