Hope, the ultimate curse

posted by jakevest on 18th, 2009

Apparently my Bible is missing some pages.

There must be a part in there somewhere that says “cursed are the hopeful, for they shall not be able to walk away from an oncoming train wreck that really doesn’t affect their lives anyhow.”

Here it is Friday morning before Tennessee’s game with what has been acclaimed to be the Greatest Football Team In the History of the Universe, featuring the Greatest Young Man Who Ever Lived, supported by 96 first-round NFL draft picks and a SuperHuman Linebacker who probably will not even be allowed to play in the NFL because he is so good.

That would be the University of Awesomegators its ownself, headed up by the man who has never made a mistake, never done anything wrong and does not tolerate mistakeage or wrong do-age from others…with the possible exception of a few dozen off season arrests.

Meanwhile Tennessee has a new coach who is well-hated and a quarterback who can’t seem to hit North America on a regular basis with his passes. Lee had better odds of pulling off a victory at Appomattox. Heck, the Spartans were better off at Thermopylae. This is Rome vs. Carthage.

I got all this information from the Orlando Sentinel, whose football expertise is second only to its political insights…but never mind that, either. ESPN, the coaches polls, the other polls, the magazines, the Koran, tea leaves, Ouija Boards and financial planners ALL predict Florida will beat Tennessee by between four touchdowns and 223 points.

So, why am I starting to think somewhere in some dark corner of what used to be a mind that “we might have a chance at this”?

First off, the only thing that makes a football expert an expert is that the other football experts agree to it. They don’t know any more than we do. The ones at the newspapers have never played ANYTHING other than politics. These are the same people who think Obama’s Health Care program is a good idea and who predicted Al Gore would be president. I have lived among them. Their word have no thunder.

Secondly, last I heard, both sides will be using students. Albeit possibly students who have recently worn jail coveralls and may have occasionally been coached with a Taser. They’re still kids at heart. And as the great philosopher Kent-Boy Rose once told me long ago in Strawberry Plains Tennessee: “All you gotta remember about college football is two things…they’re just kids out there and kids are liable to do anything.”

Finally, I believe we have a chance because I am cursed with hope. That means instead of enjoying the day and maybe catching up on schoolwork, I will probably sit down and watch this mess…at least for a little while. I’ll tense up, clench my fists and stand in front of the TV and tell myself “maybe…maybe it will happen.” And then if it doesn’t, I’ll be disappointed and feel awful for 15 minutes and bad for a couple of hours after that.

And then it’ll be over and I’ll start hoping for something else.

It’s what you do as a fan.

Oops…gotta go. It’s time to paint the Yaris Orange and White and put some flags in the window adn put on my Tennessee necktie. Hey, I don’t want people to accuse me of jumping on the bandwagon after we win this thing.

GO VOLS!